Chef Guido

Lummox.org

5-24-05 A not-quite-ode to Di Luca's mamma

Chef Guido

Chef Guido is an Abruzzese, from his mother’s side. He’s worked some of the finest Italian Restaurants north of Miami. His parents own a nice mom-and-pop restaurant south of Boca Raton, Marcello’s Ristorante, named after his legendary twin brother, Chef Marcello. He’s worked at Ponte Vecchio in Fort Lauderdale, when mentor and friend Chef Dante Campanella—a great chef and Paisan—owned it; Danvers, Boston, with Chef Mariano, the finest Neapolitan chef around, topnotch; and Larchmont, New York, La Riserva, another fine Italian restaurant. Guido hopes you enjoy these recipes, which are fusions of recipes he has learned and invented over the years, customized for the wanting-slim-waist culture we live in, and for his sweet mamma, whom we recently have found out has high cholesterol. Ma, stop eating all of that prosciutto and fresh ricotta, please.

Questions, comments, suggestions? Email Guido: guido@lummox.org

Guido's Recipe of the Week (or month or season or whatever)

[Ed. Note: This ain't a recipe for eating, but, as with all things Chef Guido says, it's a recipe for success. Well, sort of.]

Chef Guido has been enjoying himself in Florida, occupying himself evenings at the old man’s restaurant, waiting tables, busting out the charm and the wine screw, uncorking some fine corkers, and raking in the cash. And can you frigging believe Chef Guido’s paesano, fellow Abruzzesse Danilo Di Luca, is still in second place in the Giro, after the Dolomites? It’s the prosciutto with honeydew melon, drizzled with mamma’s joyous tears, that’s keeping Di Luca going.

Of spending your life’s saving on expensive wine: Like, why you gonna spend a buck fifty on some Tuscan wine that whines worse than your ex-old lady? Ask yourself this, what the hell am I doing spending this cash on sour juice and bullshit when I could be enjoying a nice Chianti and quiet conversation for a fraction of the headache?

Chef Guido says, Never spend more than twenty bucks. On anything.

Of loose women and sour grapes: Like mamma Guido says, figlio mio, putana is a putana: you no change women, women change you. So no cry in your Chianti.

Old Guido: [follow this link for an archive of past recipes] Old Guido